The ‘Past’, (I mean events that have already happened, like that encounter that you just had or the one you had 10 years ago) and the ‘future’, (the next minute, day, month, and year), can have a great impact on us now – our present. Decisions in the past affect and to a large extent determine where we are today and together with what we are doing now, the future is already shaping up.
The Past does not exist anymore but we can allow it to destroy the present when we indulge in regrets and blame games. Things may not be what we envisioned them to be but can we for a moment stop and take a hold of ourselves? We may have done or not done things in the past that seem to a large extent to affect us presently. Please, don’t be too hard on yourself.
Let’s stop the blames and regrets. What really happened? Take the lessons. Did you do wrong? Are you sorry for what you did? Have you made efforts to solve or make amends – restitutions? Are you determined that it would never happen again? Tick, tick, tick, and tick! Then move on!
Stop blaming yourself. Do the best that you can do & move on; otherwise, you’d just kill yourself slowly with regret and anxiety. A wise man once said ‘never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles’.*
Don’t carry the troubles of yesterday into today & don’t teleport the problems of the future into today.
That would be triple the stress for you. You suffer 3 times whereas you may suffer just once in the case of things going wrong. You suffer before something happens when you are anxious and all worked up; you suffer when it does happen and then you suffer when you dwell on the past events in the form of blames. Yesterday’s pain, today’s pain, and tomorrow’s pain all in one, you bring them all together. Let us stop it. Stop it!
Take care of the past. It has happened and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Are there strained relationships that give you heartache, make amends, make apologies and be sincere, if you were hurt, forgive.
Are there irreconcilable differences, well that’s it, you can’t change that now, you got to let the hurt go and move on. Stop blaming yourself and living in the past. The past is what it was, you are what you are, move on!
You didn’t listen to good advice & you made a mistake, Hit your heart & say ‘I made a mistake’ & make a note to listen more next time & let it go. Now enjoy your present, what you have, where you are, and who you are. Be content & say this is who I am now & here.
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis
Now think about the future, and decide on the kind of life you want. Document as much as possible what you want, where you want to be, and when – as realistic as possible. Then, with what you have, begin to do things every day that lead you to the dream life you want, that good life. No time to waste or feel sorry for yourself!
So if you want a good family, you begin to work on yourself. Ask & answer the question ‘What kind of person do I need to be so as to be deserving of a good wife and loving children’ and begin to do those things. This also begins to affect the kind of prayers you make. You don’t say ‘God give me a good wife’, you say ‘God help me to be a man deserving of a good wife’. It will change your perspective; instead of focusing on others, whether they are this or that, the focus will be on your self-development. You become someone worthy of receiving & soon you will attract into your life the things you desire.
Every day, do something toward meeting your goal, toward to life you desire. Stop allowing the past or the future in the form of anxieties and regrets to ruin you. Time travel is not permitted if happiness is your goal in life. Do you get it?