It would be great to reconnect with you, my old friend. How I have looked forward to this day since we parted ways eons ago. But the big question is: what are we going to do & talk about when we meet?
Within a few minutes of reconnection after the hugs & back-patting have been exhausted, will silence set in? If we have moved in the same direction, would there have been a disconnect? Would we have lost contact? After we talk about where we have been & what we have done and been up to, will I still be upbeat about the reconnect & have you as a friend?
The things we talked about; those plans we had about people, nubiles, things & places; the things that excited us in the years of yore; will they be the things or topics you will broach? I do not talk about those, do you still? Do you expect we will talk about them? Will the memories of us becloud your senses to see I have moved on?
The way we used to rock, the things we did, I do not do those things no more. Do you still? Do you expect we will do those things? Will the memories of me becloud your senses to see I have moved on?
I have made new friends and have plenty of other obligations, you will not have my undivided attention and time as it was when we rolled. Will you understand that there are no more free times and not feel hurt that I have become ‘stingy’ with the little I have and will not be readily available for liaisons as I used to be?.
I reached a turning point recently. My nostalgia, for my friends of bygone days like you, caused a lot of sorrow for me; but with hindsight, I realized it was not necessarily the person but the feeling that I miss. The friend I sometimes miss and the friend I was are no more!
My friend, my friend! I am eager to meet you but I am also afraid our reunion will last but a twilight. I am not who I used to be. I also know you are not who I need you to be, otherwise we would have found ourselves sooner.
The friends I keep now are those who believe in the new ways I have found. I hope your ways are akin to mine or that you are amenable to these strange tides I ride now.
I cherish the memories we had when we were boys. I regret the long absences when we pursued our dreams but here the journey ends. I wish you the best & will always be indebted to you for the growth you engendered in me.
The friends I keep are those who believe in the new ways I have found. I ride a different ride now. Now I allow only people with common interest and drive at my table.
We will see when we see, but, what we are going to do & talk about when we meet may not interest us both, we are both unrecognizable.
We were both Canoes in each other’s life when we scoured the streams in our backyards. We are now in the Seas on the way to the great oceans – well, I know I am. We need Ocean Liners, the Dugout will not do.
My friend, my friend! I am eager to meet you but I am also afraid: Will you be willing to up your game? In your mind, I owe you a friendship because of the past. Unfortunately, I have gone past such nostalgia. I am more dedicated to living ‘the life’ I have envisioned in recent times after a long absence from you than living in a circumstantial dream of our boyhood.
Maybe our reunion will be held in abeyance as we ponder this meet that could replace those wonderful memories with some not so.
Graphic by Jared Shapiro: https://bucknellian.net/