Tales From Far Away…

June 3, 2022
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Corn & Pear go make Sense o

We bought corn yesterday, haba, make person chop some familiar things from home.

I just told Wifey as she talked about going out:

‘Abeg if you see Pear or Coconut make you buy make we use chop the corn’.

‘You be thief’ – na her response.

Wetin I talk bad now? As we see corn, she fit see pear o, temperate region, and Winter or not.

Las, las the corn wey I buy come be sweet corn wey them dey use cook fried rice, we no even fit chop am; abeg, make I begin return to Africa make hunger for our delicacies no wound person!!!

Suicide no Dey my Bucket List o

‘I wan see Winter, I really want to see winter’ – I told our host as soon as we arrived.

‘You will see plenty of it, in a few days’ he assured me.

You see each time I see Winter on TV, I wonder when I’d see it. Lived in the Tropics all my life & traveled only during the Summer, I often wondered when I’d see winter & snow & mark them off in my bucket list.

Within a few days, the temperature began to drop from a high of 17 degrees Celsius. But I didn’t notice the change much as we were mostly indoors or in heated cars.

That night I heard hailstones fall & I knew my dreams may be fulfilled.

Hail stones, Yeah!!!

Minus 2 degrees? I must get out. I wore a singlet, a shirt, a sweater & the winter big Jacket – nothing fit do me! After all, them talk say winter is all about keeping warm, no big deal.

At my prompting, off we went to buy some groceries. Initially, it was cool. ‘I love this weather’ I muttered.

But me no think say this weather likes me much…. How’s the cold passing thru all these clothing barriers & hitting me?

Fortunately, we go into a shop, pick some groceries & my host immune to the cold it seems, requests that we go further to buy chicken.

Well, if na glorious ‘Baba Eko’ as me & my cousins call chicken, ‘let’s go there’.

This cold no mean me well o. Na the winter be this? Ok, I give up. I no wan see again, before person turn to Okporoko, this thing don dey reach minus 5 degrees o. I no fit waka well & e come be like say 2 people dey alternate to drag me back & forth. I put the hood of the hoodie on & wish I had also brought a head warmer. Oh, that’s why them dey wear hand gloves? Small time I go begin comot ice from my hand. Haba! The only thing close was those fleeting moments when I got something out of the Freezer.

‘Oh, the chicken here is so small, we can get larger sizes in front’ he told me as soon as we got into the warmth of the store.

‘Chicken kill you there! I no dey go again’ I muttered in between grasps for air & hugging myself tighter than I’ve ever hugged my wife.

Na so I turn face the house. I don cancel winter for my bucket list, I no do again. Bucket list ko, bucket list ni. Make I find way return to Abuja, suicide no dey my bucket list!

Extra: This morning I met a man who arrived last night from Abuja with his son. Chai, The guy wore his well-ironed Babariga with Palms Slippers, Abuja style & his son wore his fancy Shorts! Laugh wan kill me. I don tell them to go kit up before them start their sightseeing o.

Dogs on Rampage?

‘Don’t go out at night o’, we were warned during that holiday. It just happened that for some reasons I can not still understand a pack of wild dogs went on rampage every night starting from around midnight. My compound was fenced & so I didn’t have much fear but I was still afraid – ‘what if the dogs forced themselves in somehow?’

Dogs on Rampage (The Mirror)

The dogs were ferocious and scavenged all bins & corners of the compounds they visited. Perhaps unable to manage them, their owners let them on the loose – German Shepherds, Nkita, Labradors, etc. The dogs attacked livestock mainly. People woke up in the morning and found out that their chickens, ducks, and pets have been devoured by the ravaging dogs. People were often attacked too and so the warning for the kids to be cautious and avoid getting outside at night. Then, the men formed vigilante bands and fought the dogs every night – we’d often hear the whining of dogs as they are cut or hit. After a while, they stopped coming to our area & until I left that compound there were no incidents of ravaging dogs.

So you can understand my chagrin as I saw packs of dogs on the Streets on the way from the Airport into the City. Quite close to the hotel I stayed, I saw a pack of 5 dogs, big dogs sprawling on the floor, sunning themselves. I just took mental note of where to avoid – me & dogs no dey waka the same road, at all.

But as the days passed, observing from far, of course, I noticed that these were not the nightmarish dogs from yonder. the dogs were docile. I also noticed that there were cats as well – mellow and tame. All over the town, I saw how the people cared for the ‘strays’. Many people have feeders in front of their homes where they put food for the animals. Then the most amazing is the provisions from restaurants and butchers who make special offerings to the animals. I also noticed they were all tagged and received regular vet care. The best well-fed dogs I have ever seen are the strays of these cities.

Now I don’t allow the dogs on rampage from my past to frighten me when I see the dogs. I see a lot of lessons as well – How we treat others will to a great extent determine how they will behave. The dogs at Ekinigbo were mistreated and abused and they were vicious. These dogs are well taken care of, docile and well-behaved. Many are even too fat to bark or cause any trouble. What you think of yourself also matters – if you are kind to yourself and treat yourself well then you will see your behavior get better. Value yourself, value others, and treat yourself and others as you desire them to be & you would see great transformations.

It is a fundamental rule of human life, that if the approach is good, the response is good

– Jawaharlal Nehru

Value What you Have

Wow, wow, you look beautiful, can I touch? How is it made?
I was struck as a group of over 10 Caucasian ladies gushed over my wife’s braids.
‘oh, I love the purple color’ I wish I can make my hair like that. But my husband won’t let me’.
Aww awww rented the air.
Women with lots of bone straight hair, gushing over braids? Am I dreaming it? I just stood aside & observed.

I couldn’t help asking myself repeatedly ‘what is happening here?’ How come, it is their bone straight that is ruining many ladies back home & yet these ones are ready to do much to have braids? Some days later I even saw a Caucasian on Braids, though not as nicely done as the ones by 9ja expert braiders.

Do you wait for the validation of others before you value what you got? Nay, come off it. You are very valuable, believe & live it!

Afraid to Eat!

We kept calling the Waiter back to show him what we had ordered on the menu to be sure there were no mistakes.

1st was the Irish potato chips with the smoothest cheese I had ever eaten, oh, pure heaven. Then another bowl & another of it.
Then the salad.

We go fit pay so? Make e no be say language barrier don make this man dey bring the whole kitchen o. Hmmm, this joke about washing plate, make e no become reality o.
But our host assured us it was all-inclusive.

Then the main course came. It was mind-blowing. I wonder why food back home is rationed in restaurants. The food was worth much more than what we paid for it, even when we adjusted after conversion to Naira. That Lunch turned out to be our last meal for the day & the next day we also ate of the reminant which we took away. Hmmm, all thru that visit, I was left in great wonderment. We still have a long way to go o.

Food is still a big problem back home but we saw a glimpse of a world without hunger here. And someday when greed isn’t a factor, I am sure there will be enough for everyone to eat.

It’s time to go home now. I have seen plenty on this trip. I will share more stories someday.